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The Expense of Manners

No, they don’t.

You know there’s a problem with Humanity when you  stand in front of a cashier and greet them with a “How’s your day been so far?” and they reply “Are you seriously asking me about my day? No customer ever does that!” Then there’s the moment that you step onto a public bus and greet the driver with an enthusiastic “Hi! How are you?” and the driver does a double take.

Upon further observations of one of the mysteries of life, I decided to ask Humanity for an honest explanation.

What I mean to say, is that it does not matter whether the Bus Driver (who has spent hours driving like minded people around town) is doing well or not. He’s just the driver. I guess that makes him somewhat less human. What about the cashier? They’re about as stupid as the computer they use.

Who cares if I’m not well mannered? They’ll never see me again. It does not matter that I’m the one behaving less like a human and more like a barbarian. I’m just here to waste the quality education and respect provided to me by my parents. Duh!

It’s too much effort saying ‘Hi, How are you today?’ or replying with a ‘Well, Thank you!’ Shortening it all into one breath such as “Howaya” or even a grunt seems more practical. Less oxygen used, you see. I can then savour that oxygen for further inconsiderate and disrespectful forms of speech. Heaven forbid I waste such valuable lungs on longer sentences and a little decency!

I’ve  discovered that being nice, kind and well mannered is extremely difficult. I’ve thrown the towel in and I’ve decided to walk back down the evolutionary line. Manners are just too expensive.

Evolution? What evolution?

Rule for Humanity: The cost of Manners = $0.

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