I’m going to be quite blunt about this problem because, quite frankly, I’m sick of blunt knives at cafes and restaurants. The only time I’ve ever received a sharp knife is when ordering a steak. After many complaints. And a long search in their kitchen as they tried to locate what I would think is a staple at all eating establishments. Like water or towels or the dishpig.The fact is, butter knives are for spreads. Butter. Jam. Vegemite.
After much pondering, late nights, procrastinated work and many notebooks (I kid. It took me 5 minutes), I bring you:
3 Reasons why butter knives are preffered
1. COSTI’d say it’s cost, however (as we recently discovered in a previous entry), cafes already charge me an arm and a leg for simple sides such as extra cheese, that I doubt money is a problem. They’re probably rolling in it!
2. OH&S Maybe cafés are following OH&S regulations? In that case the OH&S dictator is either a two year old child who is still fearing sharp things courtesy of their parents or that PC freak we all know (and secretly hate).
They all seem quite outrageous, right? (And if you don’t think it’s outrageous, feel free to leave this blog and migrate to a planet other than Earth.)
So here’s the only reason that would make the slightest of sense to me…
3. SAFETY The last thing a cafe wants is to become the victim of the latest crime involving knives. And I kind of understand. I’d happily throw a knife in the direction of any one that makes a go at a piece of crispy bacon on my plate. Or a chef who poaches my eggs but overcooks them (it’s all about the yolk!) Maybe I’ll be so envious of the food on the table next to me, I’ll devise the ultimate plan involving a knife to ensure the food is mine. ALL MINE! Food fuelled crime is quite serious!
But to be honest, even if any of that happened to me, I’d still find a way to do it with a butter knife.
Rules of Humanity: Stop being blunt. Bring us sharper knives!